


Starbomb Wands

by xt1me



Series: Fics I'll Never Write [12]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Free to a good home, Gen, Starbomb (Game Grumps)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-12
Updated: 2015-09-12
Packaged: 2019-11-05 01:26:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17909399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xt1me/pseuds/xt1me
Summary: Not really an idea for a fic. More musings on what wands they'd get.This really was a colossal waste of time but I did learn a bit about woods.





	Starbomb Wands

I was watching some of Game Grumps, which got me listening to songs from Starbomb and Ninja Sex Party. And then I started thinking about what would happen if Starbomb ended up in Hogwarts. I'm not relly comfertable writing somthing so close to RPF but I couldn't help but try and figure out what wands the three of them would have.

 

I figured deciding the wood for Ninja Brian would be the easiest because, as a character, he basically just plays the keyboard and kills people. Ebony seemed like the obvious choice because it's black & used in musical instruments a lot. It's also on the endangered list, which might make it a better wood for a ninja. Maybe?

The Pottermore Wiki has a section on wand woods and it says this about ebony:  
_This jet-black wand wood has an impressive appearance and reputation, being highly suited to all manner of combative magic, and to Transfiguration. Ebony is happiest in the hand of those with the courage to be themselves. Frequently non-conformist, highly individual or comfortable with the status of outsider, ebony wand owners have been found both among the ranks of the Order of the Phoenix and among the Death Eaters. In my experience the ebony wand’s perfect match is one who will hold fast to his or her beliefs, no matter what the external pressure, and will not be swayed lightly from their purpose._  


I also I liked the entry for Blackthorn too:  
_Blackthorn, which is a very unusual wand wood, has the reputation, in my view well-merited, of being best suited to a warrior. This does not necessarily mean that its owner practises the Dark Arts (although it is undeniable that those who do so will enjoy the blackthorn wand’s prodigious power); one finds blackthorn wands among the Aurors as well as among the denizens of Azkaban. It is a curious feature of the blackthorn bush, which sports wicked thorns, that it produces its sweetest berries after the hardest frosts, and the wands made from this wood appear to need to pass through danger or hardship with their owners to become truly bonded. Given this condition, the blackthorn wand will become as loyal and faithful a servant as one could wish._  


I also liked the folklore I found on blackthorn which has it more associated with death and darkness. It also has leaves that turn yellow in autumn which matches his colour on the starbomb logo.

I have no idea what his core would be though. Maybe something exotic like Thestral hair or something unknown to keep up his mysterious ninja image.

 

For Danny Sexbang I looked up the woods used in musical instruments. I did think about spruce but the description on pottermore didn't seem quite right:  
_Unskilled wandmakers call spruce a difficult wood, but in doing so they reveal their own ineptitude. It is quite true that it requires particular deftness to work with spruce, which produces wands that are ill-matched with cautious or nervous natures, and become positively dangerous in fumbling fingers. The spruce wand requires a firm hand, because it often appears to have its own ideas about what magic it ought to be called upon to produce. However, when a spruce wand meets its match - which, in my experience, is a bold spell-caster with a good sense of humour - it becomes a superb helper, intensely loyal to their owners and capable of producing particularly flamboyant and dramatic effects._  


I then came across Blue Mahoe, which can be naturally blue so it matches his colour. It's apparently easy to work with & is also used in musical instruments.  


Danny's core is obviously going to be unicorn hair.

 

For Egoraptor I immediately googled to see if there was such thing as naturally pink wood. It turns out there's this really expensive stuff called Pink Ivory.  


Arin's core would be dragon heartstring. I don't think the other two named cores from the book fit. (This does leave Phoenix feather for Ninja Brian if we're going for all three though)

 

I'm only doing the members of Starbomb because if I tried doing the rest of the Grumps it would never end.

**Author's Note:**

> (sorry about the pic sizes)  
> Urls for the wands:  
> https://hogwarts-roleplaying.fandom.com/wiki/File:Harry-potter-inspired-wood-wand-black-palm-ebony--UDU2Ny01OTYwNC4yNTYwNDI%3D.jpg  
> http://www.spiritofold.co.uk/wands/blackthorn.htm  
> https://www.deviantart.com/blackrosebandkitsune/art/Wand-Selections-Pine-Spruce-216671298  
> https://www.deviantart.com/blackrosebandkitsune/art/Wand-Selections-Blue-Mahoe-216668729  
> https://www.lumberjocks.com/projects/44709  
> https://www.deviantart.com/mikesmakings/art/Red-Oak-Wand-1-263673787


End file.
